Self Confidence.

So as most of you have guessed my blog is going to be well, a bit of everything.

This post is on self confidence. After years of having zero self confidence. In the past year, I've really come out of my shell. This is a result of having great friends and family around me. They really pick me up when I'm down. This post is on my personal troubles with self confidence. There's no way to tell someone how to have self confidence. This has to come from within. I just hope the fact I'm being truly honest here will help people realise if they are being bullied or have been or are having self confidence issues, you're not alone.

Entering Miss University and representing my college was a great help to my self confidence. A few weeks after that I was chatting to a friend of mine Gretta on Facebook. She represented Kilkenny a few years ago in Miss Ireland. She's gorgeous and she encouraged me to think about entering Miss Ireland. I remember thinking "me? little me? compared to you and all the other gorgeous girls that have ever entered Miss Ireland? No way!". I thought she was crazy for thinking I would be good enough. But after she said it to me a few more times I entered. I am truly grateful to her for that, I would never have entered only for her encouragement. So thank you Gretta! <3

I was bullied in school and had a really tough time with it. It wasn't physical it was mental, which was awful. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I was called "ugly, fat, disgusting" among other names on a daily basis. I was called fat daily, even though I was under weight for my age. I was naturally underweight all my life. As a result from about 13 - 16 I had an abnormally large head in comparison to my small frame. When I look back on pictures I don't know how I didn't fall over.

But in saying all of this I had awful self confidence. I remember the night before my first day of college. I was in a new house, a new town and didn't know anyone. I just kept thinking I can be a whole new me. I said to myself that night before I went to sleep, I was never going to let anyone treat me the way I was treated before. I wasn't going through that mental torture again. I made friends in college and honestly they're the best friends I have ever had! 

They pick me up when I'm down, they always know when I'm sad or there's something wrong. And what's even better, they're not afraid to bring me back down to earth if my head starts getting a little big. 

I will do a separate post on Miss Ireland and my experiences with it. But I just have to say. If you have the opportunity to enter it. DO IT! It single handily was one of the best experiences of my life. It was amazing and I have made friends for life from it. It really built up my self confidence. It has made me so comfortable in my own skin. Growing up from about 13 I had an endless list of plastic surgeries I wanted to have done. This was from the bullying and constant criticism of my appearance. Now, I've none. I'm truly happy in my own skin. That I owe to my experiences with Miss Ireland. Sharon, Sean and Brendan really looked after me. Even when I had a little wobble and wanted to leave I thought I didn't deserve to be there, Brendan told me to stay. If it wasn't for his words of encouragement I would have left. So thanks for that Brendan!

Yeah I'd love a 6pack and toned legs but that's up to me and getting off my ass to do it. Thats where I lack motivation most of the time. But going to college, meeting the people I have, my friends, my family, my boyfriend and the experiences I've had have built my self confidence up.

So what I'm trying to say is, to build self confidence you have to surround yourself with positive people who make you a better person. Positive people will make you a positive person. This will make you happy and when you smile the world smiles back. You need people around you that are good to you and don't put you down. Hold your head high and stop looking at the ground when you walk. This is one thing everyone with self confidence issues does. I did it myself and you know what, one day you'll walk into a pole. Trust me! If you're being bullied, don't worry it will pass! It is horrible at the time and you wish for it to end day in and day out. It will end, it will go away. Sometimes standing up to the person works and that stops it. But not every time. But it will pass and your life will be so much better once it's over. Just do not take any drastic decisions. 

Well that's about it from me. This is a very personal post, but if anyone needs to talk just email me. Links are in the side to my email and all of my Social Media Accounts. Easy know I'm in Digital Marketing. 

Toodles

Niamh xo